Thanksgiving and so much more

I can honestly say that Thanksgiving was pretty fun. I really loved it. The food was fantastic if I do say so myself. Mom and I decided that we were going to do most of the cooking and baking the day before so we could have a pretty easy day on Thanksgiving. It was very nice. I should post pics...hhmmm...but I don't know where the cords are at the moment so I'm not going to worry about it.

I do have one pic that I nabbed from my cousin's blog. My cousin Robert is getting married. Very happy for him. Michaeline is absolutely awesome. I just loved her. I wish them the best of luck. Here's the pic I nabbed!! Okay...never mind....i hate this stupid computer. I can't wait to get mine set up here...My mom's is just crap!!!

Anyway, don't really have much to say. Thanksgiving was great. Congrats to my cousin! OH!!! I competely forgot!!! Tony and I get the house to ourselves next week!!! My parents are taking Grandma to Uncle Terry and Aunt Valeni's house in Georgia! Feel sorry for them!! But very excited for us!!!! Yes mom, I promise the dogs won't come in the house..good grief!! Anyway, still a major excitement!!!

Good night all!!!

A lot on my mind

I don't know what it is about this time of year. Maybe it's the Thanksgiving season where people are supposed to be thankful for everything that they have been given or have had opportunity to give. Maybe it's the commercialism of Chrismas or Thanksgiving. I don't really know what it is but it gets me depressed. Maybe it's because I feel like I haven't been given my share of something good. I feel like all I have been dealt with is crap. And it's been that way for the past 2 years. I don't know why. I have been trying to figure out what good has come out of this year and the only thing that I can think of is that we aren't in Tulsa anymore. This year was supposed to be awesome! The trust was going to go through. We should have had plenty of money to make it through the year. We should be in our new home and have new cars and be working on an adoption. I don't know why this year hasn't been all that fantastic. I have had to struggle with my Bishop in Tulsa. I have had to struggle to figure out how to take care of Tony and I. I hate the feeling of failure but that's what I feel like I am. Nothing but a failure. We are still living in my Grandma's basement trying to figure out how we are going to make Christmas happen. We were lied to and promised so many things that feel like they are never going to happen. I'm tired of having to be the breadwinner in this family. I knew it was probably going to be like this when I married Tony and I love him more than anything on this earth I just wish something good will happen soon. I just want some happiness for once.

I don't know why I feel like my world is crashing down on me but that's pretty much what it feels like. I guess you could say that I'm throwing myself my own little pity party. I know i shouldn't complain because there has been a few good things that have happened but not very many....that's for sure. My family thinks that I'm mooching off my grandma...which I'm not. It's not my fault that my mom lives with her. I know she would be thrilled to live in the Lake house and not have to worry constantly over grandma. I mean, come on, think about it. Grandma has locked herself out of the house twice this week, stolen a butter dish...not intentionally I'm sure, and got lost in WalMart...that was so much fun...NOT!! So not only does someone have to be with her every minute of every day, we don't get to have much of a life. My mom is constantly concerned with the things that Grandma does....don't get me wrong, she loves her mother very much and doesn't mind taking the responsibility, it's just that it's hard. It's interesting when her brothers and sisters come to visit, they are constantly telling her things that she needs to do with grandma, or they have suggestions for how mom needs to handle things...well, you know what, they can't even handle her for a week let alone 6 years. Yep....my mom has been taking care of her for that long.

I know I shouldn't be complaining but it just seems that life has handed me a bowl of lemons and I just can't figure out how to make lemonade....isn't that such a stupid saying...whatever! Okay, well, it's like 215 and I really should go to bed...not that I can sleep! But I should give it a shot! Goodnight!

My Dear Sweet Adorable Husband

Wow! I have never realized how lucky I am to have such a fabulous husband. Our life has totally changed a couple of days ago and my husband is completely in control of our lives. I can't believe how strong he is. It's the most amazing thing that I have ever witnessed. We were told that some fabulous things were going to happen. We were going to get a new house and a new car and an old "new" car. I was going to be able to join U Design Jewelry and a whole lot of other things were promised. Well, while I believe that these things will happen eventually, it's just not going to happen as soon as we thought. It's so frustrating. I was upset about it all and then I just became indifferent and I think it has something to do with my wonderful Husband. I can't believe how strong he has been through this whole disappointment. Thanks goodness for him!!

I also didn't blog on Veterans day and I have the most wonderful vet. My husband gave more for his country than just his time. He gave his mental health. Before Tony went into the Navy, he was perfectly fine. Yeah, he probably was predisposed to BiPolar Disorder because of his family history, but because of war, my husband has bipolar disorder. But you know what, I don't know if I would change anything. Yeah, it makes things a little hard but I know that I can handle it and that I can deal with all the crap that this life has thrown at me and him. He is the only one for me. I had never had anything really good happen to me my entire life until I fell in love with my husband. And I would never change him.

I don't know where that came from but I do love him unconditionally. He is a fabulous person and he's so funny. He's everything that I have ever wanted. Here we are living in my grandma's basement because life has given us another challenge that we have to face but maybe things will get better soon. Maybe good stuff is going to happen again! We shall just wait and see.

Has it really been a month???

Wow, so I haven't blogged in over a month. What a slacker am I!!!?? Can't believe it! Oh well, I will repent and do better!

So much has happened. since I blogged last! My nephew got married. Was an interesting thing. I have never been to a Catholic wedding so I was in for a surprise. Apparently when you have a Catholic wedding you can have a full mass service or just a half of a service. Lucky for us it was just half! I have never been to a Catholic mass before and have no intention of ever going back. Here's what I don't understand about Mass...why do you want to go to church and listen to the same thing over and over again every Sunday? To me that kind of defeats the purpose of learning more about Christ's Church. If you listen to the same thing over and over again, you don't learn anything new. At least in our Church, we have new information and things coming out all the time. Like General Conference when the Prophet speaks and gives us direction for OUR time. The problems that we have now are different than the problems that people had before or they are more prevalent now than they were before. I could bring up so many different things but that would defeat my purpose of my blog! So I will move on to more interesting things that have happened!

I am buying a new house!!! I cant wait!!! It has taken a while but hopefully we can get it under contract within the next 48 hours so that I don't lose it! NOT that the market is that fabulous! Another issue for OUR time on this earth! I am also getting a new car and possibly a new puppy! New furniture to buy and all this fun and fabulous stuff! I can't wait!!! Tony and I have been sooo looking forward to this since we moved back to Missouri. We want to grow old in this house and fix it up how we want it! It's a new house...brand new construction!!! It's a gorgeous custom built house and it totally fits our budget!!! We are very excited. The dogs with have tons of space to run and play. The house sits on three acres!!! Tons of space for them to play. Hopefully, they will teach the new puppy to behave! We aren't sure what type of dog we are going to get but it's going to be interesting! I'm hoping for an airedale! I had one growing up and jus loved it more than anything on this planet! He was the best dog!

Anyway, on to something else!! What else has happened since i wrote a month ago???? Hmmm!!! Oh, mom and i were looking for stuff for the house and came across this store called CJ Banks. It's clothing for plus size ladies! We ran into THE SWEETEST deal! Tanks fo $2.99!!! Yeah, we got one in every color!!! They are fabulous! I can't believe the most fabulous deal! it was awesome! I got 11 shirts for $52. How sweet is that!?!?!

Anyway, I guess that's enough for the day. If i think of anything else I'll write more later!!

Bye for now!